Overspent...

Here we are a month later and I still have not written a new post. Shame on me! part of me is still trying to figure out what I want to talk about, what my “ voice” is going/should be and HOW I want to organize my thoughts.

I read other blogs and I come out from reading them with more knowledge, sympathy, a new take on things or ideas. The problem is that on all those “ other” blogs they tend to talk around one thing and how it relates to something else. Well…. lets just say my blog still has training wheels LOL =).

At some point, I’m hoping to take them off so bare with me with you see a lot of choppy stuff.. ( I gotta start somewhere right?)

Overspent. If I could describe how I feel right now that would be the word of choice. There are several areas of my life where I’m always trying to catch up; cleaning, crafting, organizing, shredding paper ( yes.. I know a little thing but it weighs on me so much!) bath time, reading, budgeting, planning, etc. no matter how much I do there is always more so I usually end up feeling bad that I don’t hold myself accountable for more stuff and that I don’t have a good of a grip on things as I imagine.

Bills are paid, we all have something to wear manana, lunch is in the fridge, baths and showers are done and now it’s time to relax..or is it?

By this time I’m already exhausted! Usually at this time hence me feeling that I’ve given more time to things that I didn’t have= feeling overspent.

Growing up in both my childhood home as well as the home my mom and dad later bought was always stressful. Never enough time, money, resources, food, some little thing would always send someone over the edge and make them start yelling… a misplaced napkin, one of my friends calling on the phone for me, a bill that needed to be paid- ugh.. it was awful. And  we were never “relaxed”  Now , In my home even after the important things are done I’m drained and don’t really have much time for more, nor do I care to do more. But “ it is what it is” just doesn’t sit well with me either…

Does everyone feel like this? Is it just me? Where do people find the time to bake cookies and comparison shop for food? , when and how do you spend quality time with your kids when you get home at 6pm and the phone is ringing, you haven’t ate and the living room is a mess? I’m thinking maybe I just never learned how to balance stuff the way others do.

Where does the week go?

Sunday night i was going through intenet images of " organized spaces" and found TONS ( maybe too much.. enought that it made me depressed) and thought to myself, well I need to do is a pretty little " to-do" list and decorate it, make it pretty, etc, etc.. ya know put it where i can see it type thing... several hours later I have a magnificently well written out "To-do" printed on light pink paper with little birds and hearts on the corner and turquise bullets (Lovely i tell you)

Now ask me if anything on that list got done? In fact, come to think of it I don't even know where the damn list is now. i did wash clothes, and organize some bills, but other than that- nothing NOTHING got done. why is it that on paper everything is so precise and doable then I wake up and think run to get the day started

My whole reason to start the lsit was to keep myself accountable , yeah well that didn't work at all. I want to get organized.. Need a thank you card- Done, Need silver socks? I know where they are, Whats that?? your moms meat loaf recepie- yup, have that right here... I would LOVE to have it togehter liek that. instead i'm wandering aimlessly through out our home searching for my daughters pink bow and ballet shoes, or looking for stamps only to find out that i had already used them all up- like 2 months ago.

Well, I guess the good news is that I'm not the first one taht feels this way and certainly not the last but c'mon people... there has got to be a better way to live a productive happy fulfilling life than having to always dig for crap, and show up at the last minute

So now that I've put myself out there ( feel like im naked now) ya'll can join in and make this " process" better for the both of us..LOL  whats the one thing you could change that just irritates the hell out of you?